A series of email messages between Mike and Amber from Mike's countersuit by Demo

Exhibit A

Michael Goguen and Amber Laurel Baptiste first met and began corresponding in March 2002.  At this time, Mr. Goguen was in this thirties.  Ms. Baptiste was born on Ocober 18, 1980 according to public records.  Verification of Amber's age from court-submitted documentation

The following is a string of emails and messages from Amber to Mike detailing their relashionship through her words:

----3/25/02----

Hi Mike
You are so sweet. I bet that you thought I had forgotten about you. I dropped my computer and it is not working. I finally got to the internet cafe today. I can't wait to see you again but it will most likely not be in April. I have a wedding and a family reunion to attend. I will be leaving Dallas this friday to go home. I Have an offer to go to New york at the end of April but I am still waiting for details. Otherwise I will be returning to Dallas. So I am hoping to meet up with you sometime in May.I hope all is well with you. Take care. Write soon or feel free to call anytime. (403) 617-3130.
xoxo
Amber

----5/03/02----

Hi Michael,
Where in the world are you today? ... What day are you coming to Dallas? How long are you staying? I can't wait to see you

----5/23/02----

Good morning Michael
Hope you are having a wonderful day......If you get a chance call me this afternoon. I love hearing your voice it seems to create so sort of a euphoria for me. You are such a sweet man. I wish you were here with me right now. Miss you lots. Talk to you soon. Forever Amber

----6/14/02----

All I know is that I went to work at baby dolls one night and stumbled across the path of this amazing man. ...
I know that you probably feel ripped off that you spent all of this time trying too get me to give in to all of these wonderful emotions that I was feeling that I had never felt before. But I am so proud of myself for resisting the biggest temptation ever. I can picture in my mind the kind of lovers the we would be. {the sheet siring sex for days on end barely come up for air kind} Which would fulfill all of my desires for those few days but afterward I would have felt like I failed. So I believe that you were the angel that was sent to show me not to give up that I will find the perfect lover one day. I want you to fully understand the significance of what you brought to my life

...
Michael I can only hope that you can grasp my realm of thinking and see how you helped me. I also hope that I might have brought something to you that will also help you achieve your ultimate happiness.
Michael if I were to never see your beautiful smiling face again know that you gave me something so special in a time that I really needed it. No matter where I go or where my path in life takes me a piece of you will go with me.

Love Forever Amber

----6/12/03----

I really enjoyed our night....Thank you for being such an amazing friend to me in every way. You have this incredible ability to bring the super happy feeling to all of my senses. Just the few hours that we spend gives me the greatest sensation.

----8/19/03----

It was just a really exhausting night. Never the less I had a wonderful time. I had a card to give you. But I forgot. Basically thank you for always being so sweet. Write soon.

----4/6/04----

Dearest Michael,
Could you be any sweeter. I always thought I was the luckiest girl in the world to have some one like you in my life. ...
Love Forever
Amber

----4/30/04---

How is my favorite Prince doing. I am missing you like crazy.

10 million kisses form me to you
But spread them out to all the special places.

----5/3/04----

Anyways Michael I just want you to know what a special place you hold in my heart. You never cease to amaze me with your personality your kindness you gentle touch. With all the life changes I have been going through since my accident I have been getting rid of the old and in with the new. But you are forever. I hope we never ever lose touch. Our friendship has been one of a kind since the first day when you guessed my name. There is something interesting every time we get together. Whether your having a nap on my blow up bed or I am lost in a tyrannical down pour trying to find your hotel. The landing gear won't come down on your plane. The lights are out in Toronto. I am getting sick on two glasses of wine. But it always ends up being a great time from the moment your brown eyes meet mine when you open the door. I thank you for so many great times. You always make me feel super sexy. It is so hard to hold back sometimes. It is very important to me that you know how special you are to me and that I would never do anything to upset you or the equilibrium in your life. I know sometimes you are scared I might drop your name or show a picture. But never in a million years would I do anything to jeopardize our friendship. I trust you with my life which I honestly can count on one hand how many others I trust like that. You can trust me the same. I would do anything for you. I think it is so neat that we have become so close but yet really know so little. I am the girl who shows up with the little over night bag and you the guy who kisses me goodbye in the morning. I always leave on cloud 9.

----7/18/04----

If I end up living here you will have to make sure you make some new business ventures over here so we won't miss any meetings. Every time I see you I look more forward to seeing you again. You are such a breath of fresh air. I don't think you even realize. Last time was by far my favorite to date. Just talking and and listening and sharing with you stimulates everyone of my senses. Then there is all the sexy stuff that completely sent me over the edge. I love that we have grown to care for and trust one another to share each other so completely. I can't wait till I am twenty five. Just 455 days away. I feel I can share all the sexy stuff in the world with you. I am not shy with you in the least. I only hope you enjoy our time together as much as I do. 

----7/17/05----

Prince charming. I can't wait to see you. Just a few more days. I arrive on Wednesday at 2:30 and leave Friday morning. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I travelled to white plains today to visit the Buddhist Temple. I love it up there it is very beautiful and serene. I am counting the minuets until we meet.

10 kisses from me to you Love Forever Amber

----7/23/05----

Prince Charming
I had such a nice time with you. Thank you for coming back to see me before you left. ...
I am sorry you can't make it to see me next week. But hopefully we will meet again soon. But I will meet you in my dreams. Sometimes I have sexy dreams of us together.

I am almost 25. I am almost ready. There is a passion and eroticism inside of me that is ready to be opened up. And I would be honored to share it with you. Since we have taken all of these baby steps together. I could not share my body with someone who adored me less. I think it will be phenomenal for both you and I. So this is what I think should happen. I want to remain in Canada and do all my humanitarian work with kids and animals among other things. I want to take language courses cooking classes learn a martial art attend yoga class paint horse back ride among many other things. I want a life of peace and balance. I know if given the chance I will do great things. I have so many goals and dreams that I want to see through. You don't have time to do volunteer work so you can do it through me.

So you my dear hold the keys to our sexual connection which I believe once opened up and done right will be amazing for both of us. I want to be open with no holds to experience something maybe neither one of us has felt before. You also hold the keys to my freedom from stripping. As long as I am doing that job I will be resilient about sex. For some reason I seem to connect it all and it causes me to close up sexually. So I propose this You provide me freedom from stripping which equals bliss for me. And I become your mistress and you my secret intimate partner. I can come see you on your trips and make you the happiest man alive. Then I can spend my time creating great things for myself and for humanity. I think its perfect so clearly it must be.

Write soon
I miss your kisses already forever Amber

----3/27/06----

You know Michael I really do miss seeing you and talking with you. It has almost been 6 full months since I last seen you. I hope you are well. And I would love to know more on what is happening in you world. I miss you and want to see you soon. Any place that you might be traveling to in the U.S is no more than a 5 hour flight for me. So see what your schedule is and see if we can't somehow get together. I miss you and hope to see you soon.

Forever Amber

----2/11/07----

Dear Michael
How are you? Where are you? I will be traveling to Dallas again soon. I have to return to immigration. I was Hoping to arrive when you will be there. Is this possible? I would really love to see you. I am missing our friendship very much. Hope fully we will meet again soon.

XOXO Forever Amber

----6/18/08----

I must write you this letter to tell you exactly how special you are to my life. Your friendship means the world to me. I have traveled a lot and met a lot of people. I only enjoy who I enjoy and I enjoy them for different reasons. You became very special to my heart and guided me even if you did not realize you were doing so. I only keep a handful of very special people in my life.

----4/10/09----

I would very much like to see you again. It has been far too long. It is so true absence makes the heart grow fonder. I adore you so very much. And enjoyed our times together immensely. I understand why you have stayed away. But I want you to know that the things between us will always stay only between us.

You have married and I understand if you think that it is best we no longer see one another, But I would like if we were to be the passion of each others lives. I will never tell anyone. Even if we were to run into one another I would not say anything.

I want to put in the application to be your forever dream girl Your muse and mistress, It is a giant turn on to me to have a secret rendezvouses with you. For some reason you are connected to my heart on so many levels. So if you are still sexy sweet and clean. I would like to continue where we left off.

----5/9/09----

I want to reiterate to you that no matter what past present and future you can trust me.
I feel your hesitation when I see you.And I fully understand that in this day and age its hard to trust anybody.There are so many things that factor into the decisions that we make in life. I don't know what I can say or do to cultivate your full trust in me that I would never do any thing tho harm you or invade your privacy. I feel that I can trust you know matter what and I want you to feel the same.
I believe that you can never ask anything of more of someone than they are willing to give emotionally mentally or physically.
You gained my trust by just being you and I feel as if I can tell you everything and be myself with you.
You gained my full trust because when ever I came to see you you always respected my decisions with that I was comfortable sexually and never pushed me to do more than I wanted to and now I am ready to do more and I hope you are there for that as well.
...
I have no explanation for my adoration of you and the appreciation of the time we spend together other than that it it is something that we both want, need and enjoy.
...
We talk and make love and it is fabulous. I am very happy that I feel so comfortable with you to talk about my life and my adventures and have never felt that you are judging.

----7/31/09----

Prince Charming

Thank you for the wonderful night
I think I am still dizzy.
There is something very special about you.
I can't quite put my finger on it but it affects my brain chemicals.
Just know that no matter what for this whole life time and probably the next 7 lifetimes you are loved and adored so very much.

Until next time
Kisses and smiles from me to you

----9/14/09----

And next time you see me please remind me to start to show you how It feels to move energy Thru the body so that we can start to do some tantra. I have only every done white tantric which is not sexual but almost feels very orgasmic to me. So red tantra should be amazing. It seems though when I see you I get very dizzy so I forgot last time. And please find out the exact time of day that you were born and I can work on your chart. I will need The Month Day Year time of day and the city and if it was a really small town the closest major city so I can see it on the grid.

1 million kisses from me to you. Love forever
Amber

----10/14/09----

You know my brain operates much better when I see you once every month. I know you have all the these other things going on but You know your wives and girlfriends and and little girls, I am sure I adore you as much as they do I just don't requiring seeing you as often as they do. But I still like to see you. but sometimes you forget and then don't see me for one whole year.

Ok one thousand kisses from me to you. XOXO

----1/8/10----

So this brings me to Dallas. It was actually an accident how I ended up there. I had met a girl who had been working in Houston. She told me it was good that the clubs were nice ect ect. So I thought that I could go there. Somehow when I flew to St Croix I flew threw Houston so I expected the same on the return. But I was routed through Dallas. I arrived Dallas with the plan that I would go to Houston the next day.

I went to a hotel and I asked the taxi driver to take me to a strip club. So he took me to the men’s club. I spoke with the manager and he said he would like to hire me but I needed a USA visa. He suggested that I go to baby dolls. So I did. I started working there. A few weeks later was when I met you. I remember it so very clearly I remember what you were drinking what you were wearing what I was wearing. I remember I went back to my hotel after work and I called you. And I think that the whole thing began because you called me when I was back in Canada before I decided to move to Dallas. And you were so sweet.

...
I guess because I enjoy our time together so much I would go anywhere to see you and I am happy to do anything for you. I don’t think its ever been that easy because you are always involved with another girl so I am the other women or the other other women which I have never been. I think that I adore you so much and you are so sweet with me that it over rides the other women part in my mind. I guess sometimes I just don’t like that I can’t just call you up and talk to you whenever I want. And the one part that makes me happy is that even though you have been in these different relationships I get to see you over a period of time that now spans nearly a decade. I have never been upset with you and you have never yelled at me so I am happy with the situation. And I hope you are happy with it as well.

...
I don’t really know what happened exactly but I thought about it from a moral standpoint and I don’t think any body is getting hurt or ever has. I really adore you and care for you and love you. I guess differently than I would love my husband but I don’t know because I have never had a husband. I guess there is no love gradient it just is what it is and I feel what I feel. And somehow my heart got connected to yours a long time ago.
...
I don’t really know what happened exactly but I thought about it from a moral standpoint and I don’t think any body is getting hurt or ever has. I really adore you and care for you and love you. I guess differently than I would love my husband but I don’t know because I have never had a husband. I guess there is no love gradient it just is what it is and I feel what I feel. And somehow my heart got connected to yours a long time ago.

----3/26/10----

My Sweet Sweet Sunshine

I had a dream about you last night. So yummy and delightful. Then I got up and played with my toys.

So Tantric we are going to start trying it out as soon and you learn how to transfer energy. Supposedly sexual energy is the most powerful one. I understand how it works but I can only imagine what a red tantric experience would be like. Because I have never tried. From what I understand its different from regular sex. It is the sensation of two bodies becoming one. The orgasmic feeling is held for a long period of time. This is done thru breath and meditation and some different techniques. However you have to know the basics first. It will not happen in a day. But I am sure you will be glad you learned such a practice.

----4/21/10----

My Dearest Darling
I miss you very much already and it has not been two moths yet since the last time I seen you. 

----7/5/10----

My Dearest darling
I hope you had a wonderful weekend and were able to relax a little. I miss you very much and I am very excited that I will be seeing you soon kissing you and touching you soon. Only a couple of more weeks.
...
I am as always busy with my yoga and all my projects. I am wondering if you are hoping that I become an entrepreneur in the next while? If that is the case I had better start on some project full-time. I don't ever want you to be disappointed in me.
I really can't wait to see you again. So please let me know exactly which dates are good for you and where I will be coming to see you and I will make the arrangements.

Love Forever
Amber
1 million kisses from me to you

----8/13/10----

My Dearest Darling

Let me start with saying I want you to know always and forever that I truly love you mind body and soul from the bottom of my heart. I think of you often and I do know when you think of me. It is the most pleasant sensation that washes over me. I can be in the middle of doing anything and it feels as if you just kissed my face.

----9/17/10----

My Dearest Darling

I miss you so very much. I am counting the days until we meet again. I am in NYC now. I will remain here until the 29th with my girlfriends. It is a delightful time of the year in the city.I plan to travel by train next week after the conference to Boston.

I looked at the calendar Thursday the 7th of october may not be the best day. I plan to make love to you all night. There will be no game of checkers:) I should expect to start my period on the 6th of October. If at all possible could I come to see you on the Monday of the same week. If that does not work please let me know which day will.

----9/30/10----

I will make the arrangements and see you next week.
I can't wait to kiss you ... and feel your breath on my body.

Love Forever Amber

----10/16/10----

I want you to be very very happy in your life. I do not ever want you to experience and sort of stress or emotional discontent. I don’t ever want you to feel like there is not enough love in the world for you. If you do, all you have to do is lay next to me and that idea will be put to death. There are exponentially boundless amounts of love flowing from my heart to yours.

...
I am here for you no matter what .........today tomorrow and forever. I want love and happiness and contentment all around you.
...
You are of course going to carry some of this mistrust with you if people are constantly coming at you with every investment scheme which I am sure there have been a million. It can become difficult to see a persons true intentions. If the women in your life have not been completely supportive of you, you will have some left over hurt from that. I am beseechingly requesting you to just leave all of that to the side with me.

...
My Heart is very protective of you. Not in a jealous sort of way. However my heart would hurt very badly if somebody hurt you.
...
I enjoy you on so many levels.... You are imprinted in my heart and in my soul. You always will be.
...
Never ever let me be a moment of stress or discontentment to you. I only want you to feel delight with me. Know that no matter what I am always here for you. You can always count on me and I will never ever betray you.

----1/6/11----

Beautiful Michael
You look more and more beautiful every time I look at you.
I miss you very much my dearest Darling.
I think about you often.
I pray about your life and hope that everything works out perfectly.
I pray that you are always protected and always content.
I hope you know and understand that I love you very very much and always will. I feel very very happy when I see you and feel you and interact with you. So of course my heart wants it to grow and grow. And then you are gone.
It used to be easier I would not miss you immediately. This last time was the worst. The second day after I seen you I was crying a bit in the morning and then a lot in the afternoon and in hysterics by the evening. This went on for three days. I hate crying.

----2/10/11----

The best part is that we did find each other no matter how brief our moments together were we found one another. What I feel for you is real and it is forever. Some people live there whole lives and never find someone they love that much.
...

I am all finished my studied mid April. I like California I am tied to nothing here so I could move to the countryside and have a goat, a duck, a swan and a horse. A quiet life is what I prefer. Next weekend is my annual tea party in Palm Springs. I told you about the lady she has been my friend since I was 4 years old. I am delighted at the idea of sitting down to talk to her. She must be nearly 80. She called last week to set the date. I had planned to go to San Francisco for the day on the mon the14th for the women’s symposium but I don’t think I will go. We will see. I have school all weekend this weekend.

----3/9/11----

You are so adorable. I always try to save your sweet voice mails. I play them when I miss you. I have not had any for a long time because you had never left one since I bought the new handset. Now I have the one you left today :)

I melt to pieces when I hear your sweet voice. I hope to talk to you by phone soon.
...
You should never have a sad moment because as soon as you feel sad you can just got to the place in your heart where you know a girl in the world loves you with all of her heart.

Forever Amber

----4/12/11----

I miss you so Much. My Body Misses you so Much. I love you so Much. Hope you are well. Write me or call me soon.

Forever Amber

----4/21/11----

I can’t go to see you and make love to you and have you just walk out of my life one more time. I never liked it. But it became increasingly harder. If we were to continue to see one another we are going to become closer and closer. Eventually my heart would break into a million pieces. At that point I would not be able to fix my heart. I would end up never ever speaking to another man again and would have no hope of ever falling in love.

...
This is probably why the universe gave me to you. I am here to help. Besides. It is a fair exchange. If you weren’t helping me with my own life. I could have married a man I didn’t love because I didn’t have enough money for my life. I could be standing on a stage having coins thrown at me. I could have moved to a homeless shelter eventually. Any number of bad things could have happened. Because of you I have a safe happy life.
...
Love Forever
Amber 

----5/13/11----

I am so happy and peaceful when my daydreams take me away to being in your arms. Your kiss...... your breath.
...
My beautiful love you can always call me about any matter. You can always come to see me if you need beautiful energy around you or love around you. I will always be someplace in the world that you may find me. My love for you is forever. If you ever decided that your love for me is strong enough you can come to me and I will be by your side forever.

...
I love you so very much. No matter what I just want your life to be the happiest it can be. With your children, your relationships, your health and your career. You are absolutely the most amazing man I have ever met. Even when I feel really bad in my heart in the most kind and innocent way you make me feel a million times better. Your manner is so sweet and delicate.
Sweet dreams to you my love.

Forever Amber

----5/18/11----

I miss you very much. But am so glad to hear you are doing well. There is no end to the amount of words that I could write to you........ the amount of kisses I could give you......... or the amount of love I have in my heart for you.
Rest Well

Love Forever Amber

----7/25/11----

Beautiful Love

Here are some photos. I hope you found some of pictures of beautiful you to send me. (you are the most beautiful man in the world to me) I printed my favorite picture of you and keep it locked away with my notebooks. I look at it when I miss you and get very happy. You have a very angelic presence about you.

I miss you
Love Forever Amber

----8/1/11----

This affair has been going on for 9.5 years. I do not regret any of it. I enjoy every moment with you immensely.

My issue is I barely have any moments with you.
...
I have a no win situation here. I love you. If I do not see you my heart misses you. If I do see you then I go home in a heap of my own emotions and miss you more. You do not have a no win situation. You have a wife that must be great otherwise you would not have married her. If you aren’t happy with that you have me who loves you very much. I told you I would take care of you and help you with anything in your life.
...
I sometimes feel this overwhelming sense of peace when I know that you are thinking about me. Sometimes I have some strange sexual sensations. Sometimes I become really agitated and sad I assume this is when you are sad. I am not positive that that is what is happening but I have no other premise upon which I can base the fact that I can be in the middle of say having lunch with a friend and suddenly I am washed over with this sensation out of nowhere.

...
What an honor it is to be your wife and lover and an even bigger honor to be the the mother of your children and experience the joy of raising them.
...
You not only owe it to your self and the kids for them to turn out exceedingly well but you owe it to me because in essence I get to spend my whole life on this planet with out the man I truly love with all of my heart. So if they did not turn out well I would be extra extra sad.

----9/5/11----

That which flows between you and I is really very interesting. Its mystical and magical and very intense. Long after you leave my physical line of sight I still see and feel you on a more subtle level.

I believe there is an entire reservoir of love and sexuality between us that has yet to have been tapped into. I believe there is such thing as a soul that vibrates at the same frequency so such types of communication are possible. Finding that person and not sharing a life with them is a very difficult concept to grasp. What I believe and what reality is could be two very different things.

...
I appreciate the things you do to take care of me. It helps my life immensely I give my time to others which helps the world and that is good for me and for you and for others.

----10/3/11----

I hope that you can find a way to see me before my departure. I will be teaching at an event and then depart for Texas the night of the 14th.
...
I am happy that you are doing well other than your shoulder. I wish I was there to be your doctor. I hope to see a new picture of you soon.

I love you so very much. Forever Amber

----10/28/11----

Beautiful Lover

Thank you so much for the other night. You are as lovely as ever. Each and every moment we spend together is so special and perfectly stored away in my memory bank forever and ever. You taste so delicious and fit perfectly inside me like a puzzle. Every single touch imprints onto my memory. When I think about it I want you right here beside me. I wanted to make love to you one more time in the morning but you were up and gone so quickly we didn’t have the chance.

...
I will miss you while I am on the other side of the world. However I am with you in your heart as I have always been as will always be. Even if we aren’t near each other often you are one of my very best friends and my forever love. I could never forget one moment with you. I love you so much more than you realize. You can count on me for anything.

----10/28/11----

Ok My love I will close for now. Seriously you are just so delightful and you are a really awesome human being. You have so much to do still in your life and many great accomplishments to achieve. You always make me laugh. Thank you for sharing the cutest story about your parents. The “eye witnesses”. So priceless.That is one of the things that I love about you. I mean you tell me these things with such a sweetness. You told me a story once of a coyote and a guy and the two of you alone in the woods. It was hysterical.

...
I love you so very much!!!!!! Thank you so much for being in my life!!!! Our interaction holds such a special place in my heart. So remember this. If you are sad I feel sad. So your job is to get everything in order and be filled with super happy feelings by the time I get back. I love you...... I love You......I could never even make love to you enough times to show you how special you are to me.

----5/3/12----

I want to see you more than I want to do anything else in the world. However I will just fill my days with 100 other preoccupations. You will continue to fill the void with new companies new buildings new children and I will continue to discover the sights of the world to fill the void in my heart. As far as I am concerned 3742 days that we could have been happy together have already been squandered away. All I know is that I love you very much and always will.

----7/9/12----

I feel so very honored to share the experiences that we have shared. I hope that we have the chance to experience many things together this lifetime.I want you to experience to complete love of a woman.
...

There are so many things that I want to show you. I think your life will be completely different. You will see what I see. I am very sure that you are capable.
...
Secondly you must realize that I do not come to you for money. I come to you because I am wanting to have an experience with you. We have something that we are supposed to experience together. We have great work to do together this life. Every derivation of you and I is love every component of you and I is love. It is undeniable. We love one another. We do not even have to be near one another and the love travels.

...
I am not a difficult person. I can be stubborn. I feel that I always have good reason for my stubbornness. If I feel caged or I feel a situation is not right for me I will not budge an inch.

----10/16/12----

Baby I love you so much... I do not want you to feel sad ever. I really just wanted to love you and spend time with you. I never wanted either of us to feel bad even for one second. I never meant to imply that I was giving you an ultimatum. I said it is going to be impossible to maintain both of these situations forever. Somedays I feel so sad because I never ever know when I am going to see you. I do not like you being so far away from me. I love every part of you and I only ever want to add happiness to your life. I never wanted to talk about any of these uncomfortable things. I can at times be quite unreasonable in thinking because I feel there is a better way of doing things the world should be doing it that way. I feel like we love each other so very much there is no sense in us being apart.

----10/30/12----

I am quite interested in exploring my sexuality and I would like to discover all of this with you. If you are not available for this I understand. I know that I love you and that I feel really really good when I am with you. I feel all matters of erotica bursting inside of me. I want to absorb every bit of magic involved. I want to share everything that is inside of me with you.I believe that we have the maximum capacity to receive please together. I feel lucky to have found someone that I am sexually compatible with on the first try.

...
I have a fear that I will never love anybody as much as I love you and my heart will go unfulfilled.
...
I have a fear that i would be leaving before we ever had the chance to truly experience one anthers love. I have a fear that i will marry one of the pathological narcissists and then you will call and tell me that you love me.

----11/30/12----

My Dearest Darling
I am at a total loss. I thought that you had wanted to see me defore I departed. Perhaps you just have a busy month with the holiday season upon us. I was so looking forward to seeing you. I have a present for you and wanted to share a night with you. You are my forever love. I don't like when you are so far away from my heart, There are so many things that I want to share with you. I am full of desire for you.
...
I still want you to take the time to think about you... then think about you and me and us. I want us to feel the essence of our beings together. I have zero desires at this time copulate with anyone other that yourself. You are my forever love.
...
We have reached a time and point to experience us. I would love to experience the feeling of loving you and touching you and making love to you any time I want. I would like you to actually know me and feel me and to know the inside and outside of my being. I do not want to waste anymore time. Do you really want 33 years to go by and only to have imagined what it would have been like to actually know one another. I love you. Nothing about you bothers me. You are perfect to me. I know because I know. I see things that you do not see. When I feel you I feel a whole different side of me.

----1/15/13----

Where you and I are running into a problem is I love you so much. I still love spending time with you. I still love every kiss you place on my body. I still love the inside of you with every fiber of my being. I guess you can not see that I love you.
I have a hard time understanding why you think that anywhere inside of me is a place that would ever hurt you. Even if someone hurts me very badly and is completely out of line in doing so I would make no attempt to hurt them back. In 12 years have you every heard me speak in any manner that would lead you to believe that I am capable of causing harm or injury to you? It is almost offensive. I go so far out of my way to help everyone. Even people that I do not want to help. Even if you for some reason decided you hated me and brought great harm upon my life I still would not hurt you. I would feel only that it was meant to be and that what happened is between you and something greater in the universe that you have to work out with the universe. I would not feel that it was between you and I.

----1/15/13----

This has been going on my entire adult life. I have always loved you. From the very first time I ever seen you. Love was already built in. Happiness was already there every time I seen you smile. I had no ability to foresee our future or where we would be at today. Michael I do not want ton abandon you I do not want you to think that I do not love you. I absolutely do. I can remember every single solitary detail of the first day we met and the first time I came to see you. I was always so happy to see you. I never went to see you because I was a prostitute and wanted to earn money.

I did not even really understand all of that stuff yet. I could not have been in Dallas for very long when I met you. I arrived in late February and I met you within a couple of days of your birthday. I must have been there only a couple of weeks. The situation in that place was completely different from anyplace I had ever been in.

I never ever thought that that is how you looked at me.
...
I am not angry about anything at all. I am still happy that we shared every single second that we shared. I am so very grateful for your presence in my life. If I had my choice I would never have let you go from the first day I met you.

----6/9/13----

Beautiful love...
Can you drive over here with your airplane tomorrow to see me? You don't have to stay overnight. You can go back home. It only takes 40 min for you to arrive here. I can meet you near the burbank airport. They have hotels over there. I seen them when I go to the airport to fly to see you. I never go to burbank so I do not know much about it. I can find out. I wanted to see you before I leave.

----6/25/13----

The frequency in my brain that is hooked up to you is different. It is more consistent. I can actually feel if you are closer or further away from me in proximity. This is one of the reasons I have really fought the rest of my emotions to try and maintain our relationship. There is something between us that is not the normal frequency. It operates from the inside. Not thru speech or normal methods of communication.

I do not know why it is there however it exists. I think it will help the world a lot. I have this plan. That later as more information downloads to my brain I will give you the information and you will give the information to the world. I do not like any exposure. Because I am the way I am. And I have this heightened sensory system I do not have any desire to be in the public eye. I mostly like to be very quite and do the work that I do. I can be very talkative but other times I do very solitary projects. I think better that way. I think you should be the president and I am going to give you all of the information that you require.

The frequency that I know exists between you and I has become stronger over time. I am able to see and feel more.
...
Do not ever think that I have ever felt you were a horrible person. I have never ever thought that 

...

----7/15/13----

My Sweetest Love

Are you going to call me soon? Or ever to talk to me about this. I understand you are busy. However I am really really upset and I am not likely to feel better until you talk to me about us.

---7/17/13----

Yes I am upset very upset more upset than I have ever been. I do not like being so upset it feels like I am stuck in cement. Something is going on somewhere with someone that I love that is out of alignment. I have been thru this before in my life. Where I am insistent there is a problem and nobody listens to me.

...
For some reason you are unable or unwilling to see the facts that I am presenting to you. Fine.... I do not mind. We can not change what has already happened anyways. We can only change the future. Something is not right at the moment. I do not know what it is if I could see you I would be able to see more specifically. I will try to look at my screen later. I really do not feel like it right now because I do not want to see anything that is going to upset me even more.
...
If you love me you have to think of me also. You can ask yourself this question would you still love me the same if I had imposed all of this upon us???????????? I did not put a wedge between us I have waited more than a decade just to share one day that is all about you and I and our love. I have yet to see that one uninterrupted day that is all about Michael and Amber. I love you and I guess I never want to lose you I try my best.
...
The universe put us together for specific reasons one so that we could understand unconditional love.

----7/27/13----

Beautiful Love
Our love is once in a lifetime, There a connection of love that defies explanation. This relationship has a connection that goes beyond this life time. I hope you are receiving the love I send you everyday.


----10/3/13 Email Excerpt Sent By Mr. Goguen to Ms. Baptiste ending the relationship: ----

Sorry I haven't had time to connect by phone since I got back from my hunting trip, nor have I had time to get back to your long text messages.
...
I've told you repeatedly in the past that your "radar" about [my wife] is 100% off-kilter, and therefore I didn't want to keep hearing your accusations. I love [my wife] and all my children very much, and I'm very happy raising my family just the way it is.

...
I don't exactly know where to go from here in the Michael-Amber story. I don't like you to feel negative or judgemental emotions about others that I think are beneath the high quality of your character, nor do I want you to feel the continued unhappiness that seems inherent in our situation. On the other hand, I don't want to have to associate any thought or interaction I have with you, with the bad feelings that are brought on by your constant comments and judgements about my home situation.
...
It may take a clean break for a few years, but I hope we can eventually end up in a place where there are only positive thoughts, feelings, and positive communication between us. In the meantime, I hope you can focus all of the intense love and positive energy in your heart on making the lives of little girls in need better, happier, and more filled with love and security.


----10/4/13 Email Excerpt Sent By Ms. Baptiste to Mr. Goguen in response:----

My most beautiful love
My heart is broken
..
I feel like there is not one thing that a woman could offer you that I didn't offer you. ...

All of these years together and there is such a barrier. I truly do love you. I do Michael. There are different layers of a human being. The part where all of this exsists between us brings me great joy and it brings me the greatest sadness I have ever felt. And the greatest sadness comes When after all that I tried for and fought for And you sit in front of me and tell me I am the same as a women who has lived her life completely different than I have lived mine.

...
I am not willing to live in LA at all anymore. I am not willing to take any chance that I will run into your wife. Hopefully she will not start rolling out red carpets for herself in NYC. It would be to much. I told you that if you are happy then I am happy but don't mix the energy field. It is like poison for my being. She and I are different.